Happily Ever Never...

We had spent a year and a half preparing for what should have been the happiest day of our lives. Every detail was planned and most had already been put into place. The vineyard was already set up for the reception. The dresses were hung with all the gifts arranged perfectly for the girls. The guys outfits were all laid out and their gifts set out strategically. It was all so smooth and effortless. I thought I had thought of everything and that my big day would go off without a hitch.

We were setting up for the rehearsal dinner on the outdoor patio when Charles and all the groomsmen showed up after having a drink with Michael down the road at his resting place. They left a few mini bottles and a few other mementos on his grave so he could continue to celebrate with us. As soon as they got to the vineyard and told us they had left things, the boys were directed to go back and clean up the headstone. It wasn't appropriate to leave those things at a grave site on a church property in a dry county. Charles, Wade, and Allston decided they would go back to clean up what they had left. Charles asked me for my keys, but I had no idea where I had put them, so my mom offered up hers. He leapt at the chance because her Volvo had a turbo engine and he would do anything to drive a car that could go fast. Charles turned to kiss me, but he had a dip in his lip so I turned down his kiss and instead told him to hurry back so we could start our rehearsal. I never thought it would be my last opportunity to kiss him and tell him I loved him.

Then there was the siren. The siren that told the fire fighters that there was an accident. The sound I didn't want to believe was for the guys. The sound that would haunt my dreams. Then I received the phone call that would change my life forever. "You need to get down here. Your fiancé has been in an accident. Its not good". I dropped my phone and ran. Running in gravel is like running in slow motion. I wasn't going anywhere. But I was running. Its all I could do. Before I knew it Charles mom pulled up beside me and pulled me into the car onto her lap. Her husband was driving us to our worst nightmare.

I never even looked at the car. Charles had crashed it into a tree. All I wanted was to tell him I loved him, but I wasn't allowed to get anywhere near him. That whole night becomes a blur. From Allston being taken to the hospital, to Wade be airlifted to CMC, to Charles finally being put into an ambulance and taken to the hospital. The first responders wanted to airlift him as well, but they couldn't stabilize him for the flight. The best option was to drive him to CMC for the best chance at him surviving. I knew- but did not want to accept- that he was gone long before they got him into that ambulance.

I was told to get into the car and Jordan would drive me to the hospital. We got to the car as they took off with Charles. A few minutes down the road we were called and told there had been a change of plans. They were taking him to the closer, smaller hospital. So Jordan turned the car around as fast as she could and we were off again. I was the last one to get to the hospital. They escorted me to a small room to break the news to us. Charles mom, her husband, his grandparents, sister, Michaels parents, and my mom were in the room with me. The doctor came in and spoke to us slowly. Charles had sustained so much trauma that his heart gave out. All I remember is hearing that and screaming. How could this be the end to the day that was supposed to be my last night as a single woman? How could this be my life? Why? What did I do to deserve this, because Charles was too good of a man to deserve to die that young. He had so much more to do in his life. I became numb. I ran out of the room and melted. I couldn't feel my legs. I was not willing to accept this was it.

I remember so little from the next few days. I remember having the overwhelming need to be near the people I cared for. I didn't want to leave Wades house because I was scared something would happen to someone else. I couldn't shake that fear. Our lives were all just thrown for a loop and none of us knew what to do next. We were all floating through life without actually living. We were all broken. None of us knew what to do next. We just knew we needed to be there for each other until it became too painful to have each other in our lives anymore.